Vol. 38, No. 18

2-17-2009
By:

Ask the Expert, 2/19/09

How much storm and stress should parents expect as their kids transition from childhood to adolescence?
While many think that the period of adolescence is typically marked by rebellion and detachment within the family, recent research has documented an entirely different picture of adolescent-parent relationships. The majority of families with adolescents actually report that they enjoy strong, loving relationships throughout adolescence. In fact, about 75 percent of adolescents and parents report warm, supportive relationships and 80 percent of those who report problems during adolescence experienced problems during childhood.

Where did the notion of adolescent storm and stress originate?
Early 20th century theorists such as Anna Freud (Sigmund’s daughter) believed that severing the emotional ties with one’s parents was a normal and desirable aspect of adolescent autonomy development. Only with detachment can one truly behave autonomously. Recent empirical research, however, has indicated that emotional detachment is not normal and is, in fact, associated with difficulties in autonomy development.

What is a more accurate description of adolescent-parent relationships?
Adolescent-parent conflict does increase during the transition to adolescence.  In general, conflict frequency peaks during early adolescence (around 12-13 years old) but the frequency and intensity decreases into late adolescence. Moreover, the content of conflict does not involve the clashing values of opposing generations, but centers on everyday, mundane issues such as chores, homework and the telephone. 

What is the reason for adolescent-parent conflict?
In our research, my colleagues and I employ a social-cognitive approach to the study of adolescent autonomy development by examining adolescents’ and parents’ reasoning about decision-making authority. We have demonstrated that adolescent-parent conflict reflects active negotiations of the legitimacy of parental authority. Every day, adolescents and parents draw boundaries between what should be controlled by parents and what should be controlled by the adolescent. With age, adolescents increasingly claim jurisdiction over certain issues in their lives, asserting that they are personal aspects of their lives. At the same time, parents continue to view the same issues to be within the scope of their legitimate control, reasoning that they involve social conventions or matters of safety. Such discrepancies in interpretation are manifested in everyday adolescent-parent conflict. It is within these conflicts that adolescents contest and negotiate expansion of the boundaries of decision-making control.

For example, an adolescent may argue that getting a tattoo or piercing should be his or her decision because it is an issue of personal expression and preference. Alternatively, parents will emphasize the potential harm and social consequences of the act. When they define the same issue in such discrepant terms, conflict is inevitable (albeit functional). In contrast with storm and stress viewpoints, research also has indicated that in order for an adolescent to develop a healthy sense of autonomy, this conflict and renegotiation of boundaries should occur within the context of a warm, loving relationship — not in a context of detachment.

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