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I'm OK; are you OK?

Dealing with all the layers of stress

By Robert Meier Director, University Faculty and Staff Assistance Program

I don't have to tell anyone at Ohio State that the last several months have been stressful. Only 12 short months ago, we were all busy preparing for the stress of the holidays, wondering who the next president was going to be and learning that Chad wasn't just a country in Africa.

But in the time since, everyone at OSU has added other items to their vocabulary. These include terms and phrases like K-12, bin Laden, anthrax, FDNY and WTC. These all have one thing in common: more stress in our lives. Add to this the additional stress of University employees now facing possible layoffs and all the"normal" extra stress that comes with the holiday season, and you are approaching sustained high levels of stress which can be overwhelming.

Stress itself is not bad. We all need some to function at our best. Too much stress that lasts too long is the problem, but the ability to cope varies from person to person. Some of us are handling the fears of terrorism, economic difficulties, potential job losses and normal day-to-day stress without batting an eye. Others among our community, who already have pre-existing high stress levels, fewer supports and defenses or lower tolerances, are not so fortunate.

Those of us who are dealing adequately can do two things. First, we can do all the right things to make sure we continue to manage our stress and maintain our well-being. These things include eating healthfully, sleeping enough, exercising, keeping in contact with our acquaintances, and showing our love for our family and friends. Second, we can keep an eye open for those who aren't coping as well, because we may notice it before they do.

But unless you know what to watch out for, it isn't always easy to know how others are doing. Sure, there are the obvious ones. If you run into someone sobbing in the bathroom or see a co-worker who just sits there quietly for hours but hasn't turned on their PC yet, it is a safe bet they need help. But what about the person who starts lashing out angrily at co-workers or customers? Or someone who suddenly starts to be absent, miss deadlines or turn in substandard work? Does it occur to anyone to ask them if they need help, too?

Since most of us are not trained mental health professionals, here is a list of possible signs of distress:

• Wandering aimlessly

• Unjustified angry outbursts

• Overall loss of emotional control, including uncontrollable crying

• Staring

• Disorientation

• Isolation from the group

• Memory difficulties

• Ongoing fatigue

• Noticeable weight gain or loss

If you see any of these signs in someone, talk with that person. Remind them about the University Faculty and Staff Assistance Program. Our number is 293-2442. Tell them the services are free and confidential and available for all employees or their dependents.

You can also take some proactive steps at work and in the community instead of waiting for these problems to show up. Encourage those around you to keep an open dialogue on feelings and thoughts. Expressing feelings can be very helpful. Be aware that there will be a wide variety of feelings. This is normal, so don't think you have to get defensive about your feelings or confront someone else about theirs.

Also, learn as much as you can. This will be helpful for you and will help keep the spread of rumors down. This is important, since rumors help spread fear and anxiety, which increases stress. And don't ignore yourself or your own feelings. You count.

Finally, understand that stress, anxiety and depression are increased by the feeling of not being in control, of being helpless to make a difference. The best way to combat this is to do something even if it doesn't directly change what is causing the stress. Our country has responded to the tragedy of Sept. 11 with an outpouring of patriotism, charity and faith. These are all examples of people doing something they feel is helping, and in truth, it is. It helps others and it helps the givers. Some donate blood, some give time or money to charity.

I highly recommend you find your own way to take action. Work with your community, your church, your neighborhood, your school system or even here at OSU -- anywhere you can actually see results. By doing this, not only will we survive -- we can come out of this crisis a better community.